man disappear so fast in my life! Uncle Sam's jets are pikers to his speed.

I decided flirting was a little too exciting for comfort from then on. Daddy really was a showman. I'm told if I tell lies I won't go to Heaven. Well, anyway I know several politicians and a couple of ministers that aren't going to Heaven either, really I do! Those were awful lies though weren't they? Shame on me!

My Reactions to Various Situations

I became exceedingly embarrassed and experienced the feeling of shame. when a man asked me one day if I ever-well, if I had what I think you'd call intimate relations with women, which is impossible as far as I know, and unthinkable! The question was accepted as extremely insulting.

I was embarrassed a few months earlier by another man who was certain that I must have to seek what he called "sexual relief" from homosexuals. This is not so. Such indelicate sex questions often send me to my room in tears, though I may hide my feelings from my offenders. I can get married and satisfy my husband, but I could never marry a girl because I couldn't be a husband to another female. It has me so confused! I don't even know what sex feelings are in the first place. When I do fall in love with a boy it hasn't anything to do about sex other than I like him from the way he treats me, his refined ways, and the kind of father he'd be to our children, and things like that.

Another thing I dislike is when men feel my legs and fondle me. I don't think it is very nice. Besides, it gives me awfully strange funny feelings I don't like. Someday I may become a man hater. If I do, it won't be my fault.

Another embarrassing situation to me is in drug stores after I have made my purchases the clerk asks if I need any razor blades or shaving lotion.

When in department stores, especially the lingerie department, the clerks smirk upon seeing me coming. They either think me a poor helpless male, all confused, or a male wanting to dress as a woman. If I am in a mischievous frame of mind, I play along with them, appearing all confused and mixed up, badly in need of their help to straighten me out in what I want for my sister.' Upon leaving I hear them giggling at the fun they had out of me-little realizing what saps I made out of them and the fun I had doing it. If I am in a more serious mood I rebuke them at once and they soon learn I know as much as they do about what I want.

Vivian-As a Man

As a man I am a complete misfit; I can't think as a man, nor can I feel as a man. I do not enjoy the same things, so I feel out of place in their company. Men who take me as one of their kind can't figure me out; why the deuce don't I fall in love with one of my many girl friends and get married some day? "Instead of you chasing after them they have beaten a path to your door, they are in love with you and you don't even give them a tumble; gosh you're a funny guy!" they say.

I'm a funny guy all right, and the girls are in love, but not with Miss Vivian Messetti! My girl chums tell me a lot about their boy friends and love affairs, and even have me meet their gentlemen friends, especially the ones they would like to marry, for my appraisal. They tell their boy friends that I am really a girl, and that nature just played a trick on me, therefore, I am the only 'guy' their girl friends aren't jealous of.

Being unable to think or feel as a man gives me no chance to take part in stage plays as a man, though I could make-up to look the part of Abraham Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth, General Robert E. Lee, or even George Washington, and even act the part after a fashion. I could never live the part. So all